Diamonds are overrated. That’s just my opinion, but here’s my thinking:
They’re everywhere. Seriously. I haven’t done the research as of this statement, but I’ll wager that this is the most common ring stone in the United States as of today’s date (12/18/2015). Why would I care about being like everyone else? How is that special?
From what I can gather, diamonds are a false market. They are actually quite common in nature but thanks to the brilliant supply and demand of De Beers, they are worth thousands more than their true market value of $30.
Cubic Zirconium: if you can tell the difference, you’ve probably hired a professional to analyze. And that probably cost more than the true actual cost of the “real” diamond if supply and demand were normal and not controlled by De Beers.
Marketing campaigns based upon emotional decisions annoy me. I’ve dated/been best friends with/ reported to Marketing employees in a lot of industries in all levels… especially Executive Committee level. Marketing is key. So why do you think the campaign of spend 2x your monthly salary was the old Gold Standard for what you should spend on an engagement ring? Who made that up? Marketing assholes who get paid on a bonus schedule that is based upon whether or not you bought into the pitch. Over 85 years ago.
Fail.
How much does the average engagement ring cost? According to a recent survey by The Knot, the average price point that couples are spending on engagement rings rose to $5,855 in 2014. At my age in life, and for second marriages that are supposed to make a “statement”, people spend as much as 20-30k for a ring. For an object with no real equity. Kind of like that fluffy wedding thing you pay 2-30K to take a bunch of overrated photos that cost 2-15K that look like everyone else in the modern world. What is special about that? I guess I’m not a huge fan of the “Adult Prom”.
According to the Huffington Post, 20% of all engagements will fail. What happens then? Here are the options:
- Pawn shops offer about half of the wholesale value.
- The local jewelry shop will sell it for maybe 1.5% the wholesale value.
- You can try your luck on eBay or Craigslist. Yuck.
So what happens if you’re that 80% that make it to official marriage and are now sporting that big giant common diamond rock that also happens to get in the way of your workouts?
Yes… I tried to work out with mine at first. I lost a lot of DNA on the pull-up rig. That’s when I started tucking it into the very convenient pocket of my LuLu shorts. Great plan until you have to do situps or stability core work. Or… if you don’t zip up the pocket all the way.
So the first expensive real diamond engagement ring I lost (it was probably vacuumed up) was this one: My (now) husband proposed to me in front of a camera right after class.
This ring was “real” and was kind of expensive. That should not be confused with valuable. He was super romantic and spend a lot of time picking out the setting and trying to guess what my fat little Finnish heritage jockey hands might wear on a ring finger on any given day. And FYI: that changes daily depending on my workout and how many Triscuits I may or may not have binged upon. Ahem.
Fast forward to today. I’ve lost that ring. And the fake ring I bought at Target for $40 that looked better than the real ring if I didn’t wear it in the hot tub. Which I did. So I bought another. I lost that one too.
I’ve lost probably at least six or seven Cubic Zirconium rings at the gym or in transit. Whatever. Know what I didn’t do? Buy another high priced fake market “real” diamond ring when I lost the first one.
I get it. My future Awesome Sauce husband didn’t want to be “That Guy”. He didn’t want to buy me Cubic. He didn’t want me to be upset and possible tell my friends and taint “Our Story”.
But four years later were are close enough to not be offended by emotional confessions and we both agree that we would eagerly spend that money on something with lasting value. We’re in the middle of a pretty extensive remodel right now (we opted not to have a traditional wedding reception and saved up for this so we can host fun moments with our family and friends).
For the price of one ring, I could have had this Moen Motionsense One-Handle High Arc Pulldown Kitchen Faucet Featuring Relex, Spot Resist Stainless.
AND this glass island with LED lights that look like the back lit pool.
Way prettier than a diamond in my humble opinion. I don’t think they make that in Cubic.. just saying.
But wait! There’s more. I could have 1000 sq ft of distressed bamboo flooring.
And some pendant lights. You get the picture?
And let’s pretend that I still owned that original “real” ring four years later. Would it appreciate in value? Would it have been a smart investment? Would it impress future buyers seven years from now? Uh no. I suspect the Real Estate agent would NOT be impressed either. She’d be looking at my kitchen, not my ring.
While I was blown away by my the absolutely romantic gesture of my now husband, it was his gesture (not the ring) that won my heart. And four years later he was waiting for me at the finish line of the 2015 Spartan World Championships (for over an hour) where he excitedly dragged me over to the QALO booth. He’d reserved two medical grade silicon rings for us in a couple of color options and I still felt the same rush of kittens and rainbows shooting out my ass in that video with the diamond ring.
Re-Owwww!
Yes. Out my ass. I was really, really tired and didn’t question much immediately after my first (and only planned) Spartan finish. I will still argue with energy that it really did happen, if only for a moment. There were no documented unicorns. That happens on the silver anniversary. It’s special, remember?
I love my non-descriptive rubber ring. It kind of looks like a Home Depot washer or something… maybe a political statement that resembles a cancer drive for your ring finger? I don’t know. I love that we sometimes have to explain the story to those who don’t understand the concept. I love that it kind of helps me do one rep-max hang cleans and snatches because it grips just “enough”. Well, on my left hand. Not a scientific study by any means, but I like to think it helps.
And I’m pretty damn sure… when all is said and done, that the kick-ass remodel is going to be way more bling than a silly over-rated diamond that is marketed and controlled by a false system.
I’ve been wrong before. But I don’t care if I’m right. My Target rings have fooled everyone so far. Even my husband.
HBombMac 